Updated: Sep 29, 2020
The title may sound funny, or you may have become intrigued. But this title exactly connects me from the memories of the biggest change in my life. Everyone knows about the conflict between India and Pakistan. When the countries are in a hatred relation with each other, I developed an invincible bond with the man of my life, my husband. Getting married to a person from a different country is difficult, But if you are living in India and want to get married to a Pakistani guy, it is an extremely complex task!
When I recall my past, I think of all the troubles, hindrances, emotions, and struggles that were caused for selecting a partner of my choice. Many people become curious to know how I got married to a Pakistani. I decided to take you on a short tour of my past and let reminisce about the good old memories.
A Glimpse to a cross-border love story
I am an ordinary girl from India, who never thought to get married to a boy across the border. Forget about leaving the country, I never even wanted to leave my wonderful city. Like any other young girl, I had dreams to travel the world. Besides, in the end, I always wanted to settle in my country. But humans are filled with emotions and love is the sweetest yet strongest emotion from all. And in my case, that was destined.
I first saw my husband in my hometown Bhopal, during his visit to India. Then we met at a family gathering as we are relatives. We had a normal interaction, like everyone else. I and my husband are extremely dissimilar to each other. He is a little old school and conservative, where I keep modern thinking and approach towards life. It wasn’t love at first sight, we disliked each other. But, as they say, opposite attracts, it happened in our case too. The sole thing we had in common was the love for our respective countries. And I think that brought us on the same page, and we developed understanding.
Initially, we had disagreements on everything. But gradually that dissent turned the tables, and we started growing consensus with each other. We became good friends and he went back to his country. We started missing each other and connected through emails. Our bond was becoming firmer and stronger. Thus, the affection turned into love, and my husband asked my hand.
Keeping that relation alive, with such distance looked impossible, but our adherence was strong enough which kept us going. By then everything was very filmy. But... just like Amrish Puri of DDLJ, my father also wanted “desi damad!”. Making my family convinced was a catch-22 situation.
The Crux of the matter was the distance. We faced a genuine long-distance, cross-border relationship. We used to speak once a week for a few minutes. There was no tangible connection for years. When India-Pakistan borders were in dire straits, and visa services were on hold for a while. We kept giving each other the fire of hope and gradually things got better. We were playing the role of 'VeerZaara', and trying to find every possible way to persuade my family.
You must be wondering, how did we manage to convince my family without meeting each other. But even if we were not in the same place, he supported me strongly. I aimed to make my family accept him with all their heart. And he backed me in every step of it.
Days, months, and years passed, and finally almost after 6 yrs. “Bauji ne Pyar ke aage ghUtne tek die” ;). And eventually, we got hitched. We got immense support from friends and cousins, and yet it strengthened us emotionally.
That reminds me of a panic scenario during the wedding, the dates were fixed, venue and catering were booked, and guests were invited. But...wait how could it happen without a thrill!! the most awaited wedding of the time, but the groom didn't get his visa, which was extremely pivotal. Yup, you read it correctly. My husband came to India just a day before the D day because of a visa delay. Unlike Veer of the movie 'VeerZaara', we have to go through the visa process every time we travel to each other's country. As it's been said, "You have to lose something to get something better".
Our love story had many twists and turns, but our dedication, belief, and persistence kept us going. Our resilience raised many people’s eyebrows, but nothing could break us apart. This short article may not justify the entire journey of our relationship, the ups and downs, and interesting incidents. However, it can give you a short glimpse.
Getting married to a person from a different country brings a lot of changes and challenges. We accepted each other’s culture and habits. For the past 9 years, we are residing in UAE with contentment. Many people who want to be connected to the neighboring country keep asking questions. I am going to spread my knowledge through my posts to help people understand that in both countries humans are living, they have the same emotions & feelings, and it's not difficult to travel India or Pakistan, as going to the moon.
This article is not just about the love story, it also aims to make people understand the sensitivity of cross border relationships. Getting married to someone from a different country does not mean we are not nationalists. We do become antagonistic during India vs Pakistan cricket matches. We do share disagreements on political issues. However, we also appreciate the achievements and praise the talents of both countries. We love our countries and respect each other's nations.
In my coming articles, I will share the interesting reactions of people to this Indo- Pak wedding, and traveling procedures.
Check out my article on the first visit to Pakistan after marriage
Follow me on Instagram, and read my next article on how we began life in the UAE.